Am I Old or are You Just Dumb?

"Back in the day, when I was young...I'm not a kid anymore but some days I kinda wish I was a kid again"- NOT!!!!! 


Besides the obvious perks of adulthood like the liquor and the willful participation in sex...I don't wish I was a kid again because the teenagers and preteens that I've been coming into contact  with lately although mildly amusing and somewhat charming have been leaving me shaking my head. I can't honestly speak about young men as I can only reference intelligence I have gathered while eaves dropping on public transportation but with the girls, I have had first hand invitations into the brains of intellectually challenged. 


I know that this seems harsh, so I will begin at the beginning. I'm minding my own business riding the bus to work one morning around 9:30am - so I am puzzled to find myself surrounded by middle schoolers but even more unfortunate to find myself smack dab in the middle of a three way conversation between 13 year old boys. The conversation started off innocently enough..."what'd you get on that test?"...What ensued would shock and amaze me!


13 year old trifecta
"oh damn that sucks....so you got a 70? yea! How much did you need to stay in honors? A 76%...Damn homie thats rough...How are you going to swing that? I'm glad  I only needed a 65%."


Since when is a 76% honorable? where and to whom? and can we shoot them? Anyway moving on they managed to leap from mediocrity as the standard into a lascivious banter that I won't quote about hitting that....can you spell "hitting that" whilst making 60s in 7th grade? What is going on in these damn schools. Although, I was thoroughly disgusted with their utter lack of intelligence and/or understanding of what education should be I have had not one but two seventeen year old girls who shall remain nameless- shatter my hope for this generation z are they? I'm not sure but they should be nicknamed generation dumb!


One of the aforementioned female assailants [and yes I said assailant, they robbed me of my hope and blind naivety about the next generation] tried to convince me that she could take the bar exam with a HS diploma. If that wasn't enough of a slap in the face to any educational system the other one was all packed up and ready to head off to a fictional university that she'd set her hopes on whilst watching the movie that featured it.


At first I thought to myself, maybe its me...these kids today seem to lack any common and/or book sense and I started to think- almost like my granny would say...back in my day you needed to have one or the other to survive! But my day was less than ten years ago...WTH!!!!!!!!! 


It can't be me, can it?

Nostalgia vs. Not letting go

I went to the University of Virginia for undergrad and I loved it. LOVED IT. There were definitely stressful, painful, awkward, and even some racist moments that occurred during my stint at UVa, but my summation of the overall experience leaves me feeling warm on the inside and puts a smile on my face. I graduated in May 2008, and I wasn’t sad to leave college. I felt like I had a good handle on the whole school thing and I was ready to move on to other ventures and try being a real adult. Almost two years later, I’m pretty much an adult (I guess paying for my own bills and not living with my parents constitutes that) but I can’t/won’t let go of UVa.

When I moved to New York, I moved into an apartment with a girl who attended UVa and had graduated a few years before I did. I didn’t know her, I found her on Craigslist. It was a coincidence we had gone to the same school, but once I found out she was a Cavalier (our mascot) I was so ready to sign the lease. Eventually I moved out and got an apartment within blocks from two of my closest friends from college. We didn’t plan to live near each other, all three of us just happened to move to the same neighborhood within months of each other. After I moved here, I thought I would dive into the New York dating scene, but months after I arrived I got into a relationship with a guy who had gone to my college. We didn’t know each other in college, and we didn’t start talking until after we both graduated. And he doesn’t even live in New York, he lives in Boston, but that UVa connection was a familiar safety net that was more appealing than trying to figure out a New York stranger. I’m an actress and I started taking improv classes shortly after my move to New York. My first improv teacher happened to mention that she was a former UVa student in class one day and after that I would talk to her after class, she got me more involved with improv, and now I’m really involved with the improv community. Would I have talked to her after class and developed a relationship with her if she hadn’t gone to UVa?

None of this is too bad, besides it could just be a series of coincidences. Or maybe my subconscious is making me arrange the events of my life to stay in UVa circles. I may not actually miss UVa, maybe I just miss being in college. I was on top of the world when I was in college. College was my way out of an uncomfortable high school experience, my mom’s house, and the Midwest. I was able to constantly be around people who think like I do, and I was in an environment where I was encouraged to learn from people who don’t think like I do. And I really took ownership of the school. I spearheaded activities, lead groups and started new groups. All my friends, recreation, food, health centers and other amenities were in walking distance. And I was allowed to be selfish and think about what I want in life, what learning experiences are best for me, and get prepared for my future. Now that I’m a post-graduate, no one cares. No one cares if I’m still figuring things out. No one cares if I’m learning from others or shaping my environment to benefit me or the people around me. No one cares if I feel fulfilled. No one even asks, especially not in New York. Not to mention the school breaks! If I was still in school, I would be on winter break right now instead of dedicating a huge percentage of my week to a stop-gap job.

I started thinking about letting go of the past last night. I was invited to a UVa alumni dinner. I didn’t know the people planning the dinner that well, and I assumed I wouldn’t know too many of the other people on the guest list either. But they went to UVa, so it should be fine. I went to the restaurant holding the dinner and didn’t recognize anyone. Everyone looked young, like they just got out of school. I feel like I just got out of school, but I didn’t; I’m almost two years past that point. I walked into the restaurant and walked right back out. I didn’t want to waste a night talking to a bunch of kids who just got out of school to hear them whine about how they don’t know what to do with their lives, or complain about how they can’t find a job because of the recession. I don’t need to hear any more of that because I already lived that.

I went home and hung out with my roommates, who are also involved with the improv community (my social circles aren’t that wide. It’s pretty much UVa and improv). But hanging out with them was really fun. I should try to branch out and embrace other circles. I’m in a different location, I should breathe it all in. There’s nothing wrong with staying connecting to your my school, but after a while it’s good to let it just be that, my old school.

So What Do You Want To Do After You Graduate?

Can you believe this!

Hey guys, I'm Jess. For those of you who don't know me I just started pursing my MBA! Literally just started, as in this week was my first week of courses. Among the positive messages and congrats a few people have managed to throw this wrench into the conversation, "What do you plan on doing after you graduate?. My typical response (roll eyes)," What part of me saying I just started don't you understand?".

It seems like a simple question but I have never really been one to think in the long-term. The few times I have tried to plan a route of some sorts I have veered completely off course. Its certainly not because I lack drive or focus. It's just that I like to change my mind, lolol, or something better appears out of thin air. I purposely chose the HS that all my closest friends were going to so that we could have the ultimate HS experience, only to end up moving away in the 11th grade. I started undergrad as a Finance major because I was determined to get PAID. Ended up hating it and switched to Marketing, interned and worked with a number of fashion companies and magazines. Meeting some interesting and kick ass people that I'm friends with til this day. Had planned on studying abroad in Paris or the UK until my advisor suggested AU (had i followed my original plan I wouldn't even be writing here). For God sakes I didn't even plan on going to grad school in '07 after graduation.

All in all, all of my "let's see where this goes" stuff has ended up being infinitely better that anything I could have thought of on my own. And this is why this question pisses me off so much,unlike Sam Champion (meteorologist on Good Morning America) I can't predict what the future holds for me. So to answer the question in the title of the post ,what I plan on doing after I graduate is not dying. This is usually where the other person in the conversation rolls their eyes,lololol.

See you guys later!!

Incurably imbalanced...

My name is Michele and I'm a workaholic.

I'm not sure the first time I threw myself into my work to the detriment of any semblance of a social life, but its sometimes a coping mechanism and generally a way of life for me now. When I take a vacation from work, rarely do I actually stop working; I just do it from a different location, preferably a tropical one.

However, during the holidays this year, I took a REAL vacation...limited Blackberry usage and I left my laptop locked up in my apartment for the most part. This was my first step in the twelve steps to achieving a life, work balance. And, I thought that I was making progress. So, my two week vacation ended this past Monday.

I woke up early on Tuesday morning excited to get my first day back at work well under way and much to my dismay, I was sick!

I certainly wasn't about to let that stop me so I shook it off, took a hot shower, a double shot of Emergen-C and two advil, got dressed and kept it moving. I layered up; vest, long sleeve tee, blouse, cardigan, two hoodies on top...two pairs of winter tights, long socks, and lined wool pants on the bottom...rounded the outfit out with my tall boots and winter coat and not one, but two scarves...it was COLD!

I got to work and my bosses took one good look at me and insisted that I take it on home. I was none too thrilled! I argued back, but was outnumbered. So I came home.

I've been laying on my couch sick and desperately wanting to get dressed and go into the office...the problem: I've been too dizzy to make it to the kitchen less than 2 feet away for most of the day. My friend, Erin, had to bring me dinner because I couldnt muster up the energy to cook. I'm sure anyone else in my position would relish the time at home to recover, but I'm not wired that way.

In my book this is logged as valuable time wasted. I'm seriously bored and experiencing separation anxiety from work. In theory, I could work from home, but I like being in my office and feel like I got my fill of being away from the office during my time off.

I'm failing miserably at this life,work balance thing, huh? Baby steps, I guess. Do they have WA (workaholics anonymous) for beginners? :-/

Is Love Enough?

Some days I check my bank account and wonder if living my life for passion- running a host of businesses that I really believe in on a less than smedium budget- not being able to save a dime or barely earn one all for the love of art and community....I wonder if its worth it?!

One of my friends is trading in her 60K a year to be a NYC public school teacher, another aimlessly searching for her passion on the weekends, whilst others complain daily about their smart, practical jobs. Meanwhile, I've got paycheck envy...haven't bought a new pair of pants since college, a ton of bad debt in my wake, and my money is split between transportation costs and inventory.

Now I'm no money whore, but is too much to ask to be comfortable? A place of my own, the ability to go out with friends on a whim, not worrying which bill I should skip paying so that I can order more shirts, or have money for lunch... btw lunch never happens for me.Working 24/7, 365 days a year - 366 on a leap year;  the life of an entrepreneur- broke & passionate. But passion hardly pays any of my bills...

People are always telling me that one day all my hard work will pay off but honestly some days I can't help but wonder how much easier life might me if I took  up accounting...